The party has not stop since.. erm... tell me when did it starts? LOL~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to myself :):)

Thanks for the celebration and the non stop wishes.
Cheers~!
:)




It was not as enjoyable as I thought it would be..
Yet, again, the plus and the minus, things were great~
erm... yeah.. great...

Sometimes in life, things that happened could nvr be erased..
let me rephrase this,
some hurtful words or action just shouldnt appear at the wrong place and the wrong time..

and "POTONG" i called it...
**copyright reserved! hahahah!

screw those downsides,
I STILL LOVE everyone.. in the way it should be...:)

mum's words of the year to me:
U can nvr control how others' speeches and thoughts about u...
U shall live like there's no 2moro...
Pity those who think u are a "Pain in the ass", becoz they lost the chances of having u in their lives.
U are always unique in ur own way that do not change just to please others' perception on U!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE PERSON I LIVED WITH FOR the past 21 years!
the good and evil side of JANE!

Oh... Wat a surprise~~~!

A 'surprise' they called it, and yeah.. surprise it is then! lol...

Really... Thanks for having thoughts for that!:) :)

Dun let the party stops~!




*** FYP and finals... U guys are just so ANNOYING being around ALL da time. Ish~~

I mau balik rumah:(:(

Beers as beverage along with 'tonnes' of notes and THEORIES!

Tat is another form of enjoyment~:)

Field waves~~ I can overcome the obstacles that u are giving me...!

argh~!

I need more beer...U give me GOOD sleep...

And there goes another day.... :)

To the person who I treasure... Grandma

A tough lady who has lived for almost a century...
Came all the way from China with her husband..
Formed a family..
Raised 10 children who are all with definite success in life right now..
I am pretty sure she has done her job well as a mum..
It is 10 individuals that we are talking about.!

The challenges she faced throughout her life are just beyond words...

She is all I have in my childhood memory..
I knew her before I even recognised who my parents were...
For the first 7 years all my life... she was there for every single part...
Makan, Tidur,, Belajar, Main..
She was the best companion eva..!

yet.. YET...
I have been such an useless granddaughter..
I never bother to get her involved for the following growing process of my life..
From few times a month..
to once a few months..
to few times a year..
to now.. hardly twice a year..!
Hell ya... I only met her for once or at most thrice a YEAR!
DAMN!
JANE TAN.. u are such an ASSHOLE!!!

Dad and mum were away for trip this weekend..
I was back in Klang, where we got to know that grandma is sick...
Bro and I brought her to the clinic for some oxygen intake...
Doctor was not with a "small matter"face..
He advised us to get her admitted if her condition remains the next day...
 From her non stop coughing.. hands on her chest indicating pain.. sleepless nites..
I wish I could bring her to the hospital immediately..

She is always the anti-hospital type of character..

She always refuses when we talked about medication and stuff..

For times, I almost burst out into tears when we had conversation..
"Y didnt I just follow ur grandfather 4 years back?"
"Y am I still alive??"
dot dot dot...
There were tears in her eyes that I can see pain and suffer...
Grandma... How can I do to at least reduce ur pain??
Please... I want to do something so badly...
Yet.... wat can I do now?

We brought her back home...
Bro was off to melacca for work...
I was back there the next day to check her out..
Dad arranged for the admittance in hospital via phone calls, and I was supposed to bring her there

Again, she refused..
She never like to step in the hospital...
She cried.. she begged at me.. She held my hands so tight tat she  is so keen to stay at home...
From being so determined that I MUST bring her to the hospital, to...she won over me..
Her tears won over... Her stubborness won over...
Uncles and aunts were by the side persuading...persuading and persuading..
I wish I could just tell them... Can u please let her stay at home??? She wants to  be at home so badly.. Just let her be! please~~ Stop forcing her...
But... I know.. she needs medication...

Dad.. can u come back ASAP?
I couldnt take this any longer...
U can persuade her... U can!

I cried! cried like a baby once I stepped into the car..
With bro in the car.. with dad on the fon...
I just couldnt hold it back anymore...

"Y am i still alive??"

Grandma oh grandma....!!
I treasure u so much that I myself didnt realise....

There is nothing I can do for the time I lost..
I was wrong! I was so Wroong!!!

After so many long hours of effort,
the feeling is just superb when you get a "WELL DONE~!" from the project supervisor.
:)

Tat means.. the bar of expectation is set higher each and every week.
He is expecting a better result every weekly meeting, and it is my responsibility to deliver the output up to his standard.
Fuh~~ the pressure is killing:(

Project oh project...
Isnt tat wat I wanted for when I was in KDU?
A tougher learning path provides an easier route for my future working life?
No other method can make u learn more than U learning from ur mistakes..
In other words, do more, fail more and U gain more...

And, yeah~ tat word of appraisal made my day:)

More to go, and I am taking up the challenge!

One thing to bear... my eyesight is getting from bad to worse...sigh..
All thanks to the long hours on lappie..

2moro is FRIDAY! balik kampung~~! haha.. More beer.. more fun:):)

"Maybe it is not always about
trying to fix something broken.
Maybe it is about starting over and
creating something better."

It is not fun being JANE...
Not even a day...
Not at all~~!

I realised this after God noes how long it has been...
I dont even worth A single GOODBYE...

If it is so,
Y bother?

 

When u hav so much to think, to plan and to solve...
Yet, there is no one around u to share the thoughts and ''spread''off some tension.

All u do is... cry.............

Oh trust me... tat is a mental pain relieve.................

______________________________________________

 It is not about u facing my challenges and solve the problems on my behalf..

It is about u being around, showing some supportive spirit, holding my hands and remove the rocks off track TOGETHER...

Friday oh Friday~~~~

sigh.....

Life is gonna get pretty emo for the coming days...
damn:(

The weekly routine of looking forward to Friday and hoping Monday never comes is back AGAIN~~
Ish~~~~

Going thru this every week is NOT FUN at all.
Sigh,...

No more home cooked dinner...
No more tv...
No more argument with the brothers...
The list goes on and on~~

I know I am over -reacting.
LOL
"It's only an hour drive journey la wei..."
I know I know~!

But when U are out without them..
Having so much stress to handle, the laughter with frenz just seems helpless...
Nothing is best than being back at home...
:(

Fuh...
The day has to come..
and haih... I wonder why I am doing this...
Why EnE? Why this?? WHY!

haih~~~~~~

I guess I have to squeeze the juice out of it and make some lemonade instead....
*the circuit, the project, the drawings, the facts, the figures... can they be sweeten up???

"When life gives u a lemon, make it a LEMONADE~~"

Oh... wat a phrase...

I am already feeling the stress of the 3rd year.. Argh!

Countdown 3 weeks left before class starts.
Yet, the emails are jamming up my mailbox already.

Project allocation la..
Project prerequisite la..
Project this project that~~

I hate project!!!!
argh~

Y cant u just let us enjoy the last bit of our holiday before u start throwing the stress on us.

I dun want to know what I am allocated for..
I dun want to know who will I be working with..
I dun want to know AT ALL!

know what..
I am so determined to give up year 4.
Degree is good enuf.
Forcing myself for another stressful year will drive me crazy.

How now? sigh~~~~

Another chaos~~ sigh

The malays are just a bunch of asshole living as trouble creators!
They just dont know when to utilize their brains and 'ass-hole', which they tend to use the wrong body part to THINK!

Y I turn to a racist in just one nite?
For the incident that happened yesterday nite, the "M" carries the name well enuf!

It all happened for a small reason.

Daddy and Daniel were fetching his fren(opp my hse) back from tuition.
And there was a malay funeral going on at the bungalow next door. And the bungalow belongs to a Datuk. *useless fellow!
Dad was driving bro's car which just got out from workshop tat morning.
Dahlah banyak kereta. And we know best, they always park their cars as thou the road has their grandfather's name written on it. Damn. Daddy drove very very close to one of the idiots' car. And there came the chaos.

Almost 30 over malay men came right away from the bungalow, surrounding my dad and brother. They kick the car while my dad n bro were inside!
Hello! There were not even a scratch on ur car! Do have to behave like tat? Even if there is, cant u guys use ur brains instead of ur HOLES to think and solve the problems!
And hell ya, they chase them until the front of our house door!
Please la, so wat u are Datuk's frens and relatives. So wat ur wife passed away? So wat u are a bunch of M?


So end up, our car got damage badly. Daddy almost got punched by them. Got scratched a lil bit.
Mummy was so pissed off that she almost lost control.
I had to be  the silent one to put the fire off everyone's head.

Fuh... wat a dramatic nite.

They are going over to claim for the damages caused.
Another busy yet DRAMATIC day ahead!
And please agree... the M are just DUMB ASS!!

For wateva sake,
I am posting this in a drunken mode.@@!

and oh freak! i am so tipsy!

 I dun wan this holiday to end!!!!

I wonder.......... what is friend all about?

**sarcastic smile :)

A very satisfying week!

First come first..
It was her wedding registration.
Nvr had a single thought of being a part of the event.
And hell ya, I was absent for the day event.
For my parents sake, I have no choice but to be there for the dinner.
The bladdy pricy dress was worth the value after all.
I shocked the crowd in a good way. Haha~~
Thanks to lynn for your time and patience for the dressing up! LOL!


Then the holidays continue with the BANGKOK trip!
one word says it all,
AWESOME!!
The shopping spree was just so enjoying that I nvr want to leave the place.
Being a spendthrift is always fun thou..
Another hole in the pocket after the trip...fuh
I will be back next year or the following year!

It was mum's birthday yesterday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY again!
It is always a long celebration when it comes to this date..

For her birthday eve, We had dinner with at Uncle Jang's Korean Restaurant, Puchong.
And the day ended with a cheers at Movida!
Grandma was in the club!
Oh... Another joyful nite to be remember:)

Ramadhan buffet at Sepang Gold Coast yesterday nite!
The food doesnt worth the price! Not at all...
A visit to the place is wat she wanted for.
At least an hour drive to the place still serves its purpose.

It is almost mid August!!
Argh! Holidays gonna end very very soon!!
sob sob:(
I want more! more!

I am a tough character to be loved??

The injections are 'small' lil devils~~

Shh~~
I chickened out this morning....
* how great it is if I can do that every morning..

The smell of that kind of places make me sick............
argh~...
shouldnt have collected that bladdy report............!

Time is the relationship killer..

Nvr bother to maintain..
Nvr bother to show anymore concern..
Nvr bother to be a part of the journey..

I have lost the person I met and fall in love to...
Goodbye my fren~

Tat was the limit my temper could take....

If u Have a sis who u have known for ur whole life, "requested" u to move out from the house/"family"

If u Have a family who had to "welcome" an intruder for NO reason...

If u~~~~~

I am just so speechless.............................................

She is no longer the person I respect and look up to...

To me, at this point of time of time, 

U are only a pet of his!

Tat bladdy siew pau!!!!

Happy 21st Birthday!

And.. Goodbye my fren~~

We shall meet when we meet again :)

Result oh result~~~~

Overall "satisfied"...
But can be better~

A fren once said:
"Every minute you spend when you are sad, you waste 60 seconds of your happiness."

:)

I was able to stop tat from happening IF I had my stand stronger...
sigh:(

The memories of the worst nightmare I had, just had to rush up during that waiting period..

Waiting anxiously with tears, hands shaking uncontrollably, eyes staring at the door hoping to see the faces I knew.....
Damn, I was fucking scared:(

If anything happens for my sillyness, I will nvr stop blaming myself....
It wouldnt...wouldnt have happened if I was firm enuf........

Tat two hours of struggle took all my night with a bothering mind...
tired.. sleepless.. u name it.......

I was very disappointed tat U were not there when I needed ur support so much~~~

Fortunately this was a money-can-solve trouble...
It was all over now....

I need some sleep~~~~~~~~

Mission accomplished..

This Sungkai plus Ipoh trip should have been done 2 years back.
Long story short, all "thanks" to me. LOL...

Everything went well n GREAT!

Sungkai with the hot spring, water 'massage', sliding like four lil girls, picnic with sandwiches and "half-boiled" egg, etc.... oh damn, we had FUN~!

Kampar with the crazy huge curry chicken bread..

Ipoh with the FOOD and temple visit.
Oh...not to forget
we had an "adventurous" walk on the street.
Ran like four crazy girls. Head turning back n forth to the men looking as though they were chasing after us. Thinking .."Are u guys actually chasing after our bags? or trying to cross the road like we do?"
LOL~~!
Better safe than sorry.. We prevented the tragedy well enuf. Haha~!

One more thing, thanks to this trip, my mirror tells me I got DARKER! Oh no~~~

"A true fren is a fren who loves u for WHO u are~"

A great reunion with my lovely babe after a year...

The non-stop conversation, the life drama update, stories after stories, plus TOO much alcohol intake~!

LOL~

We were crazy to the extreme that, everything was a 'lil' out of control literally. Haha~~

Alcohol of the night...

- One tower of Calsberg

- Another tower of Hoegarden (we got it for FREE.. haha!)

- Greyland.. this was the starter.. gosh.. mixtures of wiski, vodka and stout. A tipsy booster, yet tatsed like SHIT

- 2 shots of tequilla each. These were the killer shots. Damn, the alcohol rush was so unpredictable

Freaking unbelievable for we 2 gals to finish everything. Like seriously, we did it...!

And there goes the aftermath..

I raised the white flag for driving. Could barely walked out of there, dont mention driving in tat condition.

A "rescue team" had to be called to get us out of there... 

lol.....

The friendship that we hold between us will never fade with time.

Indeed, we grow together with a more mature thinking and the understanding for each other nvr fades.

The experience we had together..

The laughter, the teary moments, etc.. can never be replaced or wiped out.

Amanda, yea woman.. I am talking bout u.. LOL..

So glad we found each other as bestie!

After all the hardwork and sleepless nites..

This is the DAY~!

Back from Phuket~!
We had a enjoyable time with each others' laughter and companionship.
It has been ages since 7 of us could actually find the right time being together.
The 4 days were just GREAT for my parents to be with 5 of us all together.
So glad that everyone could make it for my plan & itinerary!

Anyway..
Our hometown , Klang was flooded when we were away at Thailand.
And, when we were back from Thailand on Saturday, there were bombings in Thailand on the second day..
So creepy rite...
We were lucky enough to avoid them?
Hmm... or maybe we left the "sui-ness" when we leave? lol...

Restless......

The thing staying in the skull just doent know when to quit and giv me a break..... :(

New Layout? New Template?

All thanks to the shouldn't exist function, "UPGRADE TEMPLATE"

Everything I had previously was gone just like tat after my silly action of "trying" that out.

Couldn't restore or find my previous template. I had to set everything from square one.
What a cumbersome silly and itchy hand of mine~~

____________________________________________

It was a good move to make.:)
No regrets, no sign of making a U-turn~~

I had to let myself zone-out for a lil while...

Guess I just have to be back, it's one of our communication medium thou..
Hmm.. Thinking back.. we have been readers for each other for YEARS...
These pages will be the chronology for our paths of life having each other side by side...
Keep writing, keep blogging..! :)

Another "blackout"...
This time was the worst I have experienced.
The embarrassment it brought was enormously huge that I wish there's a hole to force my head in~!

Hmm...
The ones that I experienced were just slight short circuit condition.
If there's a circuit breaker or fuse in use, the condition can be fixed by tripping the circuit breaker or replacing of fuses.
Things will get back on its operation within the shortest period possible.

I have to say that this time was way too serious than those previous cutoffs..
For that minute or a half, AC supply got disconnected, components were shut off simultaneously and instantly~!
The terrifying blackout indeed shocked and scared ppl around.
The expressions on faces after the AC recovery  was just so mind-bothering. Sigh~~~


I wish the permanent blackout will not come too early.......:(


Fuh~~
This post is meant to be expressed in my own language..


__________________________________


Forgive me for my unexpectable character and temper.
I choose to let the bond falls apart with the effect of time...

Wokay...

I am sober from all the drunken nights and the never-sufficient-holidays~!

Back to the reality!.... which is always torturous~~~~~~~~

It was the first day of the 2nd sem here in the JUNGLE..

Oh please.. it was the FIRST day and here goes the coursework and project!

Project = research

Research = Library and Google + Lab work

Lab work = Rushing~ no time allocated for mistakes and failures...

Library and Google = TIME n time n time n time n time~~~~

argh~~!!

"Projects are killing tools, much powerful than any weapon on earth"

by JANE TAN

LOL~!

It is only the first week la... Dont la force us to step on the accelerator...

Belum warm up man.. Gosh!

Results for sem 1 will be released later in the evening..

I noe how "well" i did...

And it is definitely goin to be another sleepless night with tears...

sigh~~

i wish i could take things more lightly...

I will this time...

No more tears ! Out u go crybaby!!

I did badly in the exam!

This is a real disappointing start for me....... argh~!