Time for some updates..

13/12-14/12

Sis's wedding

Wishing her and her husband a happy marriage n great life ahead!
erm.. I really mean it when I say this.. Ops... lol..

It was a bz weekend for my family
Well, one big occasion for all of us thou.. especially dad n mum..
Good or bad. We are one BIG happy family:)

Yeap... of all the running up n down..
Love the dressing up part thou..
Being in engineering studies for too long tat I forget how I look like in dress and make up..
:)

15/12

As usual, the second celebration after the dinner..

I gave myself an early birthday "GIFT"...

Misplaced Two of the most important documents of mine..
ARGH~~!!

Mistakes were done.. a price to pay...
money money fly...
time allocated for studies has to be sacrificed for all the follwing troublesome processes...
police station.. jpn.. jpj...
adui~~~~~

hmm... aside from the valuable stuff nd documents...
The pouch is one memorable gift..
I....
I want it back~~:(

16/12

Birthday eve!!

Party time~~!!

What doesnt kill you makes u stronger...?




Just kill me pliz..........................................
a tough one... Real tough one:(


When frustration and anger take over every single positive strength, you cry you struggle.. and you still have to stand back up straight...
Stay focus on what's the aim of life..
Keep reminding myself that this is not the end... the best part has yet to come...

There is no easy way out in life..
You can have things falling into place in such a smooth path all way thru..
Born with an easy life? Wealthy future ahead?

Looking at it further... The satisfaction is so much greater with things earned by own ability n intelligence.

" I am not the worst afterall..."
Keep tat in mind~!!

Enjoy every moment of life with no regrets!

When I close my eyes I think of you
And the times we've had been through
Even though were far apart right now

I remember back when you were here with me
How you've make my world complete
But now I'm left alone

We talked about love and hope
Wishing we could start a life our own
I wish that I could live without you

Why did you tear my heart apart
You said you'll love me from the start
All those painful things you've put me through
But I'm still loving you
I've tried to give my best to you
I don't deserve the things you do
Everything has gone to memories
I just wish I knew the truth behind the lies

Why did you tear my heart apart
You said you'll love me from the start
All those painful things you've put me through
But I'm still loving you
I've tried to give my best to you
I don't deserve the things you do
Everything has gone to memories
I just wish I knew the truth
behind the lies

Jane.. breaking into pieces day by day...

I was mentally prepared for stress and the tough challenges before the year started..
yeah~~
Nvr know tat it would be this BAD...
I really mean it.. bad n getting worse....

Shedding tears doesnt mean I am weak..
Just the immediate way out to release the bursting emotion...

I need help..
I need solutions..
I need TIME??

Is this wat I want in life?
I would rather be a goose wandering around the lake.. than to be an ugly duckling working like mad...

These few months will be a war zone in and around me..
Bear with my temper.. bear with my tears.. bear with my break down over n over again..

All I need is support and support from ppl around..

Help n guide me thru this.................................................sigh..
Emotionally affected...:(
** teary eyes and broken soul...............

IF.....

A BIG word that covers all the regrets and possibilities in life..

I could have already loss my life IF I was few seconds late...

And..

Appreciation??
Regrets?
If??

Link them up~~!

24/9

Happy Birthday to You.. you know who u are;)

Well, ur presence did make certain impacts in my life.
Good or Bad?
I would say.. let time proves...
Though, it was a positive change and moving on as it is now.
A person to be loved, a companion, a work partner...
I am glad we were 'arranged' to meet up and be in each others' life..:)

...................................

Hmm..
Aside from that,
2nd day of the semester, a meet up with project supervisor, FYP title allocation..~!

Damn~
I really dunno this is a good news or a bad one..

"It is your privilege to be chosen as one of MOTOROLA project students".. from Dr N.

I got the news much earlier before meeting her.. and yeah...
To accept the project  title.. meaning.. DO or DIE..
A project to work on Motorola research for their future product.. Damn! this means TOUGH!

I was so in dilemma..
Have to perform up to their standard is not an easy task..
Industrial based experience is what I want, but yeah, Can I handle the stress?
Yet, I really dun see why I should reject this.
A potential employment from them (Gamuda le?? lol)...
Good for my resume.. bla bla bla...

Well,
After the hassle of running up and down.. turning my brain upside down considering and thinking..
YUP!
Challenge ACCEPTED!

FYP..!
I will not let u beat me down!

STRESSFUL year ahead~~~

Back from Taiwan~~ Back from Bangkok~~

END of the holidays~!!

It is time to go back to the reality...

Back to the jungle...

Back to the emo house.. emo room...

Back to the freaking competitive study environment...

Start of the FYP!!

argh~~!!!

Hate the SUNDAYs.. and I want FRIDAYs...............!!!

I dun wanna go back!!!

ah~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

30th August!

The day I waited for~

Here comes an emotional post...

Hmm.. where shud I start?

Well, I can say, it all started when I filled in the scholarship application form to Gamuda Berhad.

Have to undergo the industrial training here as a requirement to the contract..

Reported to the company on 3rd of June 2013.

That was the start of the FUN?

The half day induction program was the kick start point where I got to meet the closest colleagues I hang out with the rest of the 13 weeks here...

We were placed in different department on different floors, each having our own superiors, buddy, and work. Yet, we are all still connected in a way that the laughter never stop whenever we gather around. The lunch hour is always AWESOME. 

The jokes we had are always so ridiculous that the laughter burst out like we own the eatery.

The spamming emails, the circulating gossips, the drama in office, the teasing of certain WEIRD characters, etc. I will really miss all these....

Being placed in System Assurance, working under the always happy-go-lucky expression man, have to handle drawings after drawings, hazards after hazards, YUP, I have to say, the learning process was worth the shorter hours of sleep.

I am so glad that I have this bunch of friends who are playful, crazy, yet serious when they are supposed to.

Did I even mention, these ppl are mostly scholars who excel in their studies or one of the top in their respective uni? Thats the fun part thou. I have never expected this to happen. The first impression I had when I met these fellars, "Oh shit, it will be a dull 3 months with all these smart and brainy ones"

Well, obviously I was wrong. haha..

Dino, no doubt the playful one, the one who will be there for me when I needed help, dot dot dot..

MK, the gossip king, snake king? lol.. 

Dandy, the tall fella who I can share my candy crushing skills (LOL!) and yeah, another very supportive fren.

Queenie, the cutie in the gang who no one wants to mess with, she can be a cili padi at times! 

Chen, the UK boy who has all the gay stories to share, u will eventually laugh when he does, the expressions are just too funny.

Yang Yang, the one who only joined us for 4 weeks, the jokes from him can make the group so lively that we miss his CHINA man style.

Yeah, these are the memorable ones...

Guess I will really miss the time here with them.

Everyone will still move on when their training period end, to UK, to singapore, to other states...

and me, as usual, back to the jungle...sigh~~

Hmm...........

I will have to wrap up these feelings and prepare to be a student again.

yeah! lets end this with the smile I put on when i came in..!

8 hours to go!

:)

Another post written in the office..
2 days to go to end the 13 weeks here...

Hmm...lots of complicated emotions here thou...
Looking forward for Friday yet.. yeah... thats the start of another challenge in life..
For studies and relationship wise, a tough year ahead~~!



Yup, Had a chance to be in the same meeting together with him today..
I didnt know a guy can be so charming when he is focus at work.

Sitting at the opposite side, listening to the 'discussion' between both our superiors, looking at how he handles his work, the appraisal from his superior that makes him proud (well, happy to say tat i was proud too. LOL), the serious and confident face he put up during the meeting, etc.

Sometimes,
these are just small lil things tat can make a person so attractive:)

>>>

Cant wait for Taiwan and Bangkok trip!!

Another weekend getaway~~

Bukit tinggi, Pahang>> Bentong

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


I am not sure where the future will bring us to...

Enjoy living as it is now and yeah...

YOLO~~
*You Only Live Once!!.. Colleague's signature...:)

My name is in the dean's list??!!!

First reaction... WOW~!!

hahahah! hahahahh!!

So so glad to get the news....:)

Appreciation....??
 

Sometimes there are things in life that arent meant to stay.
Sometimes change may not be what we want.
Sometimes change is what we need.



"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough"

Countdown to 3 weeks left.. precisely 16 days more...

Frenz are leaving one by one back to their uni life..
Seeing that makes me wanna leave so badly thou..
Final year??? gosh... thinking of it freaks me out already

One thing for sure..
The 3 months here will be so memorable tat I will carry along in my life..

I am gonna miss them~~~

 A weekend getaway trip~~

Working life is just so dull tat i needed a trip so badly...

yeap, ipoh plus cameron... there we go~~~

Thanks to the 'driver'..
Got to enjoy being a passenger,
got to experience being a village girl,
got to see the other side of cameron,
Got to relax and get things off my mind for few days..

and not to forget, the 'flash' that might cost 300 bucks... ops~~
lol......

It has been so long since I last posted any pics..

A meal by him...
Guys who cook are always charming in their way, dont they?
haha...

:)

Afterall, it is not as easy as it seems to be...

I remember telling you once:
Appreciate people/ things around you.
And nvr take anything for granted, because by the time u realized,
there is no more U turn to be taken...


5 weeks!
A countdown tat makes me excited yet worried..

How well can I  adapt into this?
How long can tis lasts?
The list goes on...............

Yeap~
Enjoying the days as much as I can with the people I love..
:)

17/7~~

One more step forward....

Proposal for long distance relationship

1. Video call lo, is a must
2. Communicate everyday at least once via any method
3. Have a common hobby or interest, even have to do it separately la.
4. Challenge each other to do something, learn to cook something or what etc.
5. Plan for the future together
6. More freedom you can meet friends and families more often, (GOT RULES AND PARAMETERS one ah)
7. Remember and revise how strong are the feelings
8. Be positive
9. Avoid being jealous or anything (yeah, i'll try to watch my boundary, haha)
10. Have an item a close one so you actually have a thing to miss ea other.
11. Remember that you are MINE !
12. Respect your guy girl equality and try not to be so ego lo.
13. Create RULES and REGULATIONS
14. MEET each other often. (3 hours nia, traffic jam also more than that already la)
15. Because can't see each other that often, so will less likely fight through small things and will cherish the time together more.
16. It won't be a long period apart, few months, if like this also can't then the hardships in the future will be so much more harder la.

Prepared by,
YOU KNOW WHO

_______

Funny yet sweet??
yeah~
:)

We are on the verge of going forward or take a step back...

Am I ready for the new start?

Live with no regrets??

or

Let the history repeats and there we go again??

7 weeks~~!
Too long for the work...
Too short for being around...

Life is always interesting huh...:)

What have I done?

sigh~~~

I should have handled it in a better way...
There should be no regrets after this...


We are still cool as frenz.........

射手不在乎的話，無論你說什麼，你依然什麼都不是；
射手不在乎的話，無聊透頂也不會想和你廢話半句。;
射手在乎的話，可以在很累的情況下陪你到很晚，即使第二天還要工作;
射手在乎的話，可以聽完你說一切瑣碎事；
射手在乎的話，可以為你改變所有，迷失自己也在所不惜
 

A fully occupied weekend?
Yup, a good one thou....

When small matters can turn the relationship upside down,
When there is literally no future to be foreseen,
When the brain wins over the heart,
 I guess this is wat heading towards a full stop is all about...

Stepping out of my comfort zone?
It is always easy said than done..
How much do I need to bear if things failed?
Well, I would say, lets be optimistic and make sure I am always on the beneficial side..

Thinking bout it, denying things that I myself doubt, is so hilarious..
Influential?
Not the right word to use..
Hmm,
Guess I found someone who has a same aim and direction of life?

Let time proves...


___________________________________________

Happy birthday Joann Tan!

Sudah tua lagi la...
adui...

hahah!

Freaking swollen left eye!

How to go to work in this condition...
Damn ugly le......
sigh:(

Well, the result is still mind bothering....

The words from the wise him came across the mind:

“当你不顺心的时候， 静下来仔细想想， 到底有多重要。”


It is not tat important afterall.....
yeap, moving on~

Result was out...

This time was a real terrible shit..
and i really mean it..

The worst of the 2 years in Nottingham?
sigh~~~~

3 percent diff to the scholarship requirement??
DAMN... what is wrong with that bladdy subject??!

and 2 other subjects on my own borderline..

speechless...

yeah, like usual.. i dont accept failure well..
another sleepless nite...
Blame the haze?

haih...........................................

"Just give me a reason 
 Just a little bit's enough  
Just a second we're not broken just bent 
And we can learn to love again 
It's in the stars 
It's been written in the scars on our hearts  
That we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again"



It has been a favourite..... 

Potential future to be??

This is interesting, yet not the right time for it...

We shall remain being flirt-ish and yeah... as long as we are comfortable with where we stand, things should be fine...

Yeap... It's Monday again!

Let the routine work begins!

2 down... 10 to go!

Hypocrite?
Individualistic?

I really wonder what relationship, friendship or even the close family members are for...

Trustworthy?
Dependable?
Reliable??

When I start having doubt on these, yea, I rather trust and love myself more than anything else..

Hypocrite?
Damn.. I have so many passer by of this kind in my life...
sincerity still exits??

I wonder~~~~

There are a lot happening around...
One word says it all....
letihnya~~~~

Good things to share~~

Great bunch of interns to hang out with..
They are just a bunch of guy colleagues who make jokes out of any topic
Loving the lunch hour.. The laughter drives me forward...


It is only 9.. and I can already hear my bed calling...
Fuh................

I felt as thou 3 months just passed...

Damn..
This is so much tiring than I expected...

First day at work~!

I was so amazed by how systematic, procedural and organized of the system of the company..

Being out for work from 6am to 10 pm is not a easy task thou...
The strain mentally can drive me mad...

Every single "WOW" thing that I have experienced in that one day:

I have a mat salleh as my direct superior, which means I will be facing him every single day for the next 3 months..

The company is so HUGE that even my colleagues do not know half of the ppl they bum in to...

U have a card hanging on u everyday...

I am assigned to be involved in the MRT project! that is the biggest WOW thing...
That was wat I wanted since I have got the scholarship...
Putting a lil footstep into this mega project is an valuable experience!

One last thing, the interns, trainees, and junior engineers are all young fellas! Time to expand the social network... haha...

Off to work!

I am done with third year!

so so glad that everything falls into place as planned..

It is time to get ready for the next nightmare..
Working in Gamuda will definitely be one exciting experience to have..
A challenging one I suppose..

Another step ahead to being a graduate!..

Holidays? It doesnt seem near to me...

Last one to come 2moro~~!!

I can feel the critics coming already...

Yet, I want to get over all these asap!!

Solar Stirling Engine...

Sayonara~~~ 

Waking up 9 in the morning with a hang over is crazy....................

Final week of the third year....

This will probably be the longest week eva..
The final closure of the project... I am nothing but worry and worry...

A project which I have been dealing with for the past one year..
Good or bad...
Critics or appraisal..
Here they come..!

Live or die?
Lets do it..!

Oh my dear Almera...
I miss U man...
sigh.........

When I see ur "kawan-kawan" on the road,
I sakit hati la....ish ish...

So sorry putting u thru all these...
I will get u out of there VERY soon............

Sob sob......:(

I couldnt recall when I have started to plant the seed of hatred for her.

At first, it was a silent war.

Den goes an explosion of anger and expression. Thanks to alcohol.

Since then, we have nvr spoken to each other till now.

Nvr want to be under the same roof with her.

Nvr want to have meal on the same table.

Nvr want to see their faces around my visibility.

As time passes, it became a habit.

Whenever she is present, no one will see my existence around.

Dinner, gathering, celebration, etc.

The consequences that I have to bear is that,

I could no longer feel a part in this place.

Sometimes ppl around me wonder why do I enjoy my nightlife and not linger at home like a labelled "Master student"!

F*ck.... 

I dun have a home to return to! 

Yes. I need to be financially independent to get rid of all these.

Family?

Is it still in my dictionary?

Bullshit........................................!!!

It is a path that I have to use almost everyday..
An unavoidable memory replay...

The screeching stop, the shock, the aftermath....
Gosh~~

It has been haunting me everytime without fail when the place passed..
Susah betul la...:(

It wasnt a good labour day to celebrate..

:(

Ur presence make me realize how significant he is in my life...

I can find no one who noes me better than he does.

U..? a passer by....

*This post is meant to remind myself that, no one is or should be serious in this. Neither he nor me.
Getting used to all the attention is not a good thing.. No, it should nvr be....

Fuh~~

I am so in deep shit..

Oh frenz.. if u noe me.. dun take my words SERIOUSLY when I am not sober.

ops.. I shouldnt have called u fren.. I dun even noe u~~! Damn..

It is a harassment i call it..
The non stop calls..
The stalking actions...
Telling me tat u noe where i live is scary enuf....!
f*ck up!

fuh~~~

First.. It was just a wrong sentence of mine...
Erm.. rephrase it..  A drunk mode of me...LOL...
Second... I really met u once.. pliz and pliz... love on a first sight? dun bullshit me...

for thousand times I am saying this.. I AM BUSY! STOP CALLING!
ish~!~

The Promiscuous One 

Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet!  Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.

Can u just stop describing me~!!

Credit to the aussie gal for this post..

It was so random that the incident which happened these few days flashed me back over the text above.

Yes, I might be cold and cool in such a way tat people tend to keep a safe distance..

Yes, I am serious in things I do that I keep my smile and laughter to condition that they are supposed to be revealed.

Yes, I treat my frenz sincerely that I dont wish for any return.

Yes, when my fire is triggered, first, my EQ is high enuf to hold it and stay away. Yet, things which are once broken, nvr it will remain the same as it was, either for the better or worse. 

Anyway, one word for today.. FRIENDS....

???

Oh no~~!!!

Another mistake which cost me a fortune........

Damn......!

My money~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

:(:(

Exhausted is the only word I feel...

Days after days.. weeks after weeks...

The workload argh~!!

My new babe~~!

Welcome to the family! :) :)

WYD~~!

My new life partner will be out in erm.. 2 days time?...

I am pretty excited...!

Y do I have to stay till friday? Y ? Y?
ish ish.....

Report after report,

Work after work...

 

It is just a never ending workload...

Life is dull... Life is so demotivated.. Life apparently sucks!

It is only months away before this sem ends.

For tis sem to end, the FYP is a pain in the ass to complete.

And after this sem ends, here goes 3 months of internship in GAMUDA.

Then, finally, the last year in Nottingham~!

Final year is so so so so so scary to me...

Apparently,

this is wat I will be going thru till 2014.

I have ntg interesting to look forward to... I need something to boost my energy and be motivated!!

Internship is scary, Final year is even worse... Everything seems so dark~~~ sigh....

Hell ya..

I woke up one day in the morning..

And I had a crazy thought...

I need a graduation trip for myself!

One month off travelling to as many countries as possible...

And yeah~~ I will make this happen! 

Malaysia-Beijing-Shanghai-Taiwan-Shenzhen-Hong Kong-Macau-Bangkok- Malaysia!!

The planning is going on...

With daddy and mummy as my budget provider, I have ntg but plans and plans to worry about rite... hehehe

yeah~!!! I am so excited now...

Looking forward to June 2014.. !!

It was supposed to be a long and 'expressive' post...

Yet, i cut the crap as u noe what it is all about... lol..

Anyway, goodbye to a dear fren of mine...!

miss u?? hmm..

U will feel my existence at least once in a month.. u noe wat I mean.. haha!

bye bye:)

The holiday is over and it is time to start fresh~!

A real fren is someone in ur life who.....

comes to the rescue with just a text or a call....

always be around when u needed a shoulder or a listener..

nvr judge u by ur stupidity...

be in ur comfort zone when u tune urself out of ur soul..

being supporting and screw those who stand on ur way...

SINCERE.. says it all...


People come and go in our lives..
Those who make significant footsteps in ur heart are those who u really treasure...

I am glad that I found at least one in my 21 years of life...

Thanks again.. a support like that is very much appreciable...:)

Ppl tend to be so eager in knowing the truth,

The truth that lies behind might be hurtful that U wish u nvr get to know..

When the apple is rotten deep inside, do not cut it open and reveal the inside colour!

Sometimes when damage is done,
putting back two things together to the initial seems impossible..

 Family or friends....

They are just ppl who u care but hurtful words tends to tear ppl apart.

U were one important and respectful figure in my life at one point of time.
Now, hatred seems to come into place.
One, u changed... this is undeniable..
Two, u changed.
Three, u still changed!

Winning over a verbal 'war' doesnt mean u are on the right side.
Sometimes, taking one step backwards and think before the hurtful words take place is a smarter way thou..
 U just nvr think... Words always come before being transmitted into ur small lil main processor in ur head... Too sad for u then..

For the sake of the two elderly,
I stop whenever is possible, avoid as much as I can, meeting lesser REDUCE the possibility of triggering another third world war. Fuh..

One last word, being elder doesnt mean U have a more mature thinking or higher EQ than me.
Think before u speak or u ACT...

Do not regret when u realise than someone significant or someone u care starts treating u like a stranger. And hell ya, U are no longer a sister to me. A someone who shares the same surname, share the same parents, etc. Thats all..

This applies to whoever is reading this.
No matter u are on the right or the wrong side, taking one step backwards sometimes is a SMARTER choice! Huhu~~~~

Cheers!:):)

The freaking exam is done~
Trip is a mission accomplished...

Wats next?

Enjoy my holiday to the max..
And get ready with fully charged battery for the next torturing period...

CNY oh cny...
 I dont really ur existence anymore...

2 more~ 2 more~!!!

It is no longer about aiming for perfect score here...

Finishing the paper is even a problem for us...

Damn..

I would be so freaking depressed if this was the me few years back.
Now? Maybe one night of sleepless night...? aiks....

Hmm... get ready for the next never-ending paper will be more practical for now..
fuh... fuh~~~

New year resolution?

Get rid of 2013 asap!!

I want to graduate so badly... fuh