Had an awesome trip to melaka with the gals~~:)

ops.. i shud put it this way..

A FOOD adventure in melaka with them!!

lol...

It was simply a vacation with non stop food supply to the body..

The calories intake are to the extreme!!...

And now here goes the FATS accumulation for the aftermath.. lol....

McD~~ early breakfast.. erm.. an appetizer i called it.. haha..

chicken rice~~ brunch...

durian cendol and coffee~~ dessert for lunch... lol..

laksa, rojak, cendol@2nd round~~this is tea time??? oh.. i lost count...

satay celup~~ first round of dinner... queued for half an hour with sweat and rain, experienced being a 'celebrity' eating with 'fans' surrounded 270 degree around the table, oh yeah.. u heard me right... tat was countless pairs of eyes staring at us while we 'enjoyed' the food...

seafood n beer~~ 2nd round of dinner...

All in a day~! Too bad.. we were just TOO hungry...

hahahaha...

Another great experience with lotsa fun n laughter to be noted in the memory of ours...

Zha bo.. It's time to go on diet~!

It is nothing but just another ordinary day...

Life seems so dark to move on...

The perfectionist living within me is driving me crazy...

I never allow myself to screw up in any way.. Being perfect is always wat i strive for the past years of my life..

And now.. things are pulling me down..

I am not performing up to the standard like before..

comparing with ppl around me makes me look stupid..

I never like the feeling of losing...

Not before.. not now....

I know... this is not healthy...not good at all...

I have got to change, seriously... fuh~~

Learn to cope with failures is wat I shud do, i suppose....

Jane is not always in the perfect condition..

Please allow her to screw things up sometimes.. allow her to make mistakes..

I shud STOP STOP n STOP pressuring myself too much....!!!

suffocating~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Things are tough here...

Tougher than any u can imagine......................

it is to the extreme that i think of giving up my degree all the time...........

sob sob:(

KARMA..!

U two bastards will suffer 10 times more to pay for ur action..

If this doesnt happen on u, it WILL eventually happen on ur loved ones...

IT WILL one day!!

This may sound bad, but none of us can feel the pain she is goin thru now...!

The stiches are hell of a tortument...

A call from my aunt tat turn my day upside down...

Mum got slashed by two BLADDY BASTARDS who tried to snatch her bag...

yea... SLASH~!

The feeling sucks to the max when u are stuck in somewhere far away from home, receiving calls like tat, couldnt be there at the first time, crying like a baby in front of ppl, etc......

She is still in the surgery room currently.

No longer in the critical condition..

I couldnt imagine the pain she is goin thru at the moment...

slashes?!

I would cry my eyes out for even a cut...

How i wish i can bear the pain on behalf of u...

I would.. I definitely would....

"Even a second could save lives"

This is so TRUE...

sigh..........................................

I feel so sorry for the two "ANIMAL" who did wat they did just now...

If u think there's nothing wrong filling ur life with luxury by putting some1's life at stake, I feel so sad for u.... so so sad for u....

i couldnt hold my tears back after the call...

not even a second of thought...

I cant afford to lose any1 of u...

Please n please tell me u are okay...

None of u can leave my life...

No..! none of u~~!!

pray..

any religion or any beliefs..

Please......................... she must stay healthy!!! please~~~~~~~~~

Dragging myself back to the forest AGAIN~~

How i wish if there is a UNAC instead of UNMC...

Universiy of Notttingham, ANDALAS Campus....

haha....

HOW I WISH TAT WOULD HAPPEN........

A promise is a promise...

Once "broken", consider "sold"

Hope this is not too late~~

Happy Anniversary!!

Tamarind Springs

It has been a 2 years of ups n downs..

Like it or not... I am still with Him... lol...

yea.. Ppl around might not understand y this relationship actually last...

Again, never judge from a 3rd person's view when u are not in the picture... It's always Wrong when it comes to matter involving abstract stuff like this..

He might not be the perfect guy with all the golden "M"

good or bad... he just suits well in my life...

Being away for almost a month now...

I miss u more than eva...

Thanks for the Ipad 2~~!!

I cant give anything in return but a promise that this anniversary celebration will be done for years to come...:)

Never thought it would be as stressful as tis...

:(

Y Engineering????!!

Y E&E??!!

Why la.. why la???

sigh...

Choice was easily chosen...

And 1 thing for sure now..

There is NO EASY WAY OUT~!

I am not liking it here.....

sob sob:(

Things are so SO different here compared to the life and routine which i have gone thru the past years...

The Independence which i posses are just not enuf to keep up the pace of the things goin around.

so f**king SUFFOCATING~!!

The subject matters are crazily tough..

"It's all on ur own. U are responsible for ur own LEARNING..."

This is wat we get the most since we started...

fuh~~~

Questions after questions

Doubt after doubt...

Things never get solved before another matter interrupt the process...

noe wat...

"TIME" is all i need now...

time to catch up the non-ending tasks...!!

I HATE Sunday!

I dun wanna leave my home~~~~~~~

I DUN WAN~!! DUN WAN!!!!

sob sob:(

KDU's Convocation in One World Hotel today~!

It was my first day on campus as an official student in UNMC 2day..

The fees are really well-charged!

Everything is worth the pay here..

Campus is HUGE...

Environment is CLEAN..*I dun see any noticeable rubbish or vandalism AT LEAST.. lol...

GREAT facilities... Library and all the labs are so well-equipped....

And I finally see female classmates..! after so long ha..........

Met lots of people here...

Friends from Klang, from Gamuda, friends punya kawan.. dot dot dot..

It's so freaking exhausted after only being a day there..

walking from one place to the other needs the walk, waLK, n WALK...

gosh...

tats the downside of being in big campus like this i suppose...

Another shity matter is..

the timetable is crazily packed.......fuh~~~
from 9-6!

aiyoyoyo....................

I hate staying outside!

having a depressing homesick here...

I miss my family..

I miss my mum's dishes..

I miss arguing with my siblings..

I miss u....

I miss everything in KLANG!!

can i balik now??~ haha................

off to semenyih~!

I will be in the uni for registration today.

2moro will be de orientation...

I might be back after orientation on wed...

returning to the forest for classes next week.

And resuming the STUDY mode after SO So so long~~~~~

Ah~~!!!!!!!!!

I feel the heat and tension man........................

Dahla staying w/o my family is depressed enuf...

Living with 3 guys in a house is going to be challenge for me thou...

Being surrounded by human of diff gender has been a norm for the past few years of my life...

serious shit.. I need more gal frenz...

Everything starts fresh...

People.. Environment.. Living lifestyle... bla bla bla...

Gonna miss every part n parcel here~~~~

Hmm.......

Better keep my emo moment out... I have a long day to take care of today~!

chaozzzzzzzzzzz...........

I DUN wanna leave here~!!!

I am acting like a big baby...I know.. I know...

thinking of life there being alone...
heart starts swelling, tears rushing out, I couldnt hold them back anymore.....

My family, my friends, and u....
I need more time... MORE more time....
sigh........

Magnets of the same pole repel...
I guess we belong to de same 'pole'~~

No1 is to be blamed..
Blame that we have characters and temper which are TOO alike...

depressed~~

I am not tat important afterall~~~

Time for some updates...

I'm back from singapore~~
UNIVERSAL STUDIO is a MUST go place of interest!
RM160 is definitely worth the spending...
what an eye-opener for us....

Results were released yesterday...
Deng deng deng deng.......... 4.0~!
The satisfaction is beyond words when the row of As' is right in front of ur eyes...
Hard work paid off... Time well spent..
And....Goodbye KDU....

Despite all the happiness I'm goin thru, there's one silly matter that breaks the chain.... haih~~!
What a spoiler....
The precious present is gone~! It's gone just like tat.....................
It's not about the money that matters... It's... It's....
Sigh...........................................................
Time doesnt rewind for correction of mistakes made..
Jane Tan.. U better take it off ur mind right now~!

Next up...
My second visit to JOGOYA 2moro!
Fats accumulation day!

Port Dickson this coming saturday~~!

Dont let the celebration stops! haha...........

Off to Singapore for 3 days.......:)

This post should be written few days earlier....
I was too bz celebrating tat time doesnt allow any moment without enjoyment
lol~~!

I'm done with my diploma~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2 years plus....
So proud that I've achieved another level of my life.
A diploma holder... I am a diploma holder...!! GREAT!

I noe it sounds crazy to u tat I am so freakingly excited to be graduate as a diploma holder.
"It's only the stepping stone of ur life"
I noe i noe...........

Trust me...
2 years plus is not a short journey and mission to accomplish..
I've been thru ups n downs.. cats n dogs fight.. bla bla bla.. just to be in the position i am now...
I've no regrets for the decision I made and this period will definitely serves as a strong foundation for my future undertakings.

No doubt tat life in Nottingham will be completely different.
Double or triple the stress perhaps?
To make things even tense...
I am NOT allow to fall off track.
Gamuda will chase me off if tat happens thou..
haha...

Another 3 years ahead in Nottingham starting this september..
N I'll be a Master holder then!
cant wait for the day to come~!

I'll be having a 1 month plus holiday till the enrolment.
No jobs for me..
No stress for me...
No arguments for me..
ONLY ENJOYMENT!!
lets party~~~!

Holidays = Being a spendthrift
LOL~

The award ceremony will be held this coming fri~

i need a formal suit~!

a nice one.. *blek........

Any1 interested in teman-ing me to singapore.. please contact me....:)

Thanks GAMUDA!!
Thanks for the scholarship offer!

I thought I was about to face another failure.
N tat call this morning changed my day... and my life i suppose..

Few of the applicants already got their offers last night.
n I was dumb enough to sit and wait for calls or emails...
The disappointment and burden was so huge that I actually broke down into tears...
Only managed to get 3 hours of sleep... Too eager to jump off the bed and check my email.

I was prepared to move forward and accept the fact that I was another 'crossed-out' scholarship applicant.
And... U noe.. miracle does happen!...
Fon rang... Email received...
here goes the scream and laughter~~!

I am very very lucky to be chosen...*No doubt tat i did well in the 2 interview sessions.. lol..
Applicants who got offer to local uni only get 13k for their 4 years course...
I got 80k!!!
which is a lot~!

I am so glad that I can do a part in reducing my family's burden
as my sis said, "Finally, Ur hardwork paid off WELL.."

Words cant describe any of my feelings right now...

fly fly fly~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sepang Gold Coast Resort

Personal opinion...

The price is way too much for the facilities...

Area too deserted....

Dull setup and deco...

Hmm... a rate of 5/10 from me....

Everything is falling into place well...

Thanks to the cup of 'MILO'...




"Never get trip off by ur own emotional thoughts along the journey---life is precious"

OMG!!

never had a split second of thought tat we can actually win it..

O-M-G~@!


"Green Technology Award"...

My solar charger won an award!
woohoo~~


1k was given out as the prize though...
wuhahaha.. wuahahah~~!

Here comes de day!..
dooms day i would say.......


Engineering fair...
Project competitions..
RM8800 up for grabs..
bla bla bla...

Our presentation didnt go well thou...
our salesman-ship sucks!..hahaha....


Another hour to go for the results to be out...
fuh~
i just wan it to be over ASAP~~~

hey.. Guess wat... i'm actually updating my blog~~!
lol.......


wokay...
1st thing first..
Diploma is coming to an end...
My solar charger is 90% done.. woohoo~! after all the hardwork...my precious lil device is ready to get off the oven...~!
1 month left to the final and i'll be leaving KDU officially..!!

den...
here comes nottingham...
I have received the offer letter for September intake...
which means.... I'll be living in the 'jungle' for God noes how many years to come...

September...It might seem far.. but... trust me.. settling down in a new place needs time~!
I'm asking frenz around there to look for any rental rooms tat is available...
Here we go.. all back to square one..
new environment.. new ppl.. new faces...
n ops... more trees and greeny scenery around...*haha

busy day.. busy month...

2 more months~!

go gO GO!!

Rest in peace...

Uncle Lawrence~~~

When there's another person playing a more significant role in ur life than the one who shud be, complexity comes into the picture...

It's just so frustrating when u fall in and fall out of a relationship.....

Being circulated by the same person almost everyday, it's hard to deny that something more than the past frenship is goin on.......
A better way of communication?
A closer frenship??
A...?
i really dun wanna noe what's gonna happen next...

2 more months to go....
hmm...

Things around me aren't goin smoothly these days...

Project workload plus the crazily-packed schedule..
and exam which is just so around the corner~~

It's so stressful than I've had so many sleepless nights.
Time to rest is so precious for me and yet I still couldnt take my mind of the problems and upcoming tasks...

We(with alfred) spent de whole day solving the bloody aussie's shit.
The calls to australia, the enquiries here and there. the this and the that... we were so fed up that Plan B had to come in action...
Took LRT all de way to Pasar Road, KL....
Searched each and every components from the head of the street till the end...
and did i mention?
It was in the mid day with scorching weather and hell we were in a rush!..
Two empty stomachs, sweats flooding our bodies, time ticking fast,....
Damn it was what we always say..."wat a day~~~"fuh~~

I'm in the college from 8-5 almost everyday...
yes.. i'm in the com lab expressing my shity emotion here....

wokay...
I better start carrying my ass and start another day with work work n work!

hahahahaha
hahahahhahahah
hahahahahahahhaha
hahahahahahahhahahhaha
hahahahahhahahahahahahah
hahhahahahahhahahahhahahaha
*how i wish if i could laugh out all de stress...
i wan a good sleep 2nite.. please~~~

Nottingham...

Here I come~~~


Alfred n I came up with this random plan tat we shud just pay the Semenyih campus a visit..
driver = Alfred Khong the physco
gps/ map reader = Jane the pretty
lol........
Again~~ both of us will be crazy exploring something "new"...

I hope we dont get lost and come back empty handed thou..
lol~~~

let's go.. lets go~~~~~


It's time to move on n get out of the failures..
Plan B... University of NOTTINGHAM, Semenyih!

Another failure in my life..
sigh~~~~

where went wrong?
what?
how?

sob sob:(

i'm sorry~~~

The one tat i fear the most is finally here...

my final industrial project~~~!

I was so stunned when i got to noe tat this will be an individual work...
*dunno which d*mb*ss told me it's a group work...
damn.....................

6 subjects in a sem..?!!
some1 save me~~~!!

Possessive Love Relationship

One of the most magical experiences in one’s life is falling in love. Those butterflies in the stomach and blushy nervousness all make the days of courtship romantic and special. Suddenly we feel completely glued to our partner and it seems that you can’t live apart for even one minute. These emotional bonds of passion, affection, and attachment become the center of our being.

But as you start settling down in a relationship, one partner may suddenly note the behavior partner of the other a bit altered. Small-small matters turn into arguments and the demand on your time is more and more.Even before you completely realize it, you may find yourself caught in an unhealthy relationship.

This possessive love can not only pull you down, but even take you on the path of a downhill relationship. Many times it happens that this possessive love is seen just in the initial phases of a relationship and as the couple starts getting comfortable with each other, this possessiveness mellows down. But sometimes just the opposite happens. The emotional attachment becomes so high, that in place of security; insecurity develops creating problems in the love relationship.

small brains.. childish acts...

Shell Malaysia scholarship~~!!!
ah~~~!!

wokay...
despite the failure 2 years ago, i gav it another try for this scholarship using my diploma + spm results...

and there it goes...
de core of the problems and headaches... fuh~~~~

first phase of selection...
the screening of all applicants' achievements, participation, bla bla bla.. all the written lame stuff as usual...
i got passed thru tat and received calls tat i will be going thru the second phase.. which is the telephone interview!!

trust me..
tat was the first time in my life encountering such interview style..
it freaked me out thou...
After all the preparation, waiting, fighting with my nervous brain cells, the 1 hour fon interview was finally a pressure off-board in my head...
ah~

2 days ago...
the first reaction when i read the reply from Shell in my mail was.. "OH YES!!!"
de second thoughts overcame the first one instantly, "Oh damn it...~~"

I got thru the fon interview as well...
but...
the third phase will be de face -to-face interview!!

This tues...
10.45am-5.30pm!
Headquarters of Shell, KL..
n... "Please report urself to the admin before 6.45am on the day"
6.45am??!!
KL!!
i shud be awake at.. 4.00am???!!
*faint~~~~ faint~~~

to get myself clear of wat will happen next..
i googled about the past years selection process...
"Shell Recruitment Day" is wat they called it...
and none of the passage i read about this process indicates tat this is an easy go...
5 out of 5 blogs tat i googled on, failed the selection..
i wonder if there's actually a 'survivor'...
haih...

to make things worst...
it's my final next week~~!
I need more time!! more more time!

this is squeezing my brain juices out of me slowly n surely...
n i noe... i will be meeting a bunch of super smart and active people there...
to be de survivor of all, ask me... i am giving myself a 0%......

anyway.. anyhow... i have already struggled thru yesterday nite...
i WILL be there for it!
*the whole process for the JPA scholarship selection is replaying itself in my memory...
it was a nightmare~~!
haih.............
haih.........

taking in a deep deep breath......
heee....huuuuuuuuuu~~~~~~~~~~~

I find myself behaving like a walking-dead-meat for de past few days.....

i wonder where's jane~~?

alcohol loves me too much...
i couldnt find any more efficient ways to overcome my pain n heartache.......

i'm not in control of my actions n my LIFE..........

wat de hell is wrong right now??~!

i'm too exhausted to handle anymore shits.. yet.. they are still coming with piles and piles suffocating me....

wokay...

i had my precious car banged yesterday....

n de story continues with....
a series of crying scence...
police station...
arguements...
n de great day ended with tears flooding my bed...

waking up 2day with 2 big panda eyes waiting for me to feel de consequences of 'too much tears flow'...

thanks to de 2 malay b*tches...
my NEW borned baby was damaged in just split seconds..

not only i have to bare with de damages...
right now... their accusation and blame are getting on my way...

everything was just so obvious tat their motorbike hit on my car...
on the wrong lane and with their stupidity... it was f*cking their fault...

as we noe...
we are in a country full of pigs...
having authority who is also a bunch of their kind, ntg much i can do with all these matter evolved...

the game has just started...
many more to deal in days to come...

i'll be receiving calls from de bunch of pigs to get back there and help on their "so-called" investigations...
everyone knew from de beginning.. chances for me to fight and win this is equals to ZERO...
too bad tat i'm not a pig rite...
ops..
i mean I AM GLAD THAT I AM NOT A FUCKING M*L*Y PIG...!
ASSHOLE!

i shud just stop crying and learn to deal with this...
i might face charges where i will lose my license...
and i definitely hav to pay for all de damages caused...
jane~~ jane~~
chill and take it easy la ya...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

to the person who hav regretted to be a part of my life...
i wish tat tis will end everything...
full stop~~~!



life sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dilemma~~!!

should i? shouldnt i????

ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

found a job...

found a room...

everything is off to go...

all i need now is a GREEN light from myself...

i'm in de yellow light where i can choose to put a full stop to being a part in my family...or i can put everything down, forgive n forget...

wat should i do now???

this is a decision which will turn my life upside down...

i...

i...

i...

i hav no idea wat to do now~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i hav already been thru few emotional days...

mentioning the matter will only turn my tears flow on...

a special thanks to u for being wit me these few days!

u noe who u are... lol..

anyway...anyhow...

i'm standing back on my feet to continue my journey...

whether or not to move out...

lets just pray de best for wat is about to come!!

*edited previous post..

no more misunderstanding pliz...

Handling these matters one after another isn't fun!

i'm so worn out tat i wan to be totally ALONE~

i felt as thou i've lost all de precious things in my life in just days...
this week sucks to de extreme!

whether or not it's a misunderstanding... it doesn't matter anymore...
* if it is... my apologies to u & u & u & u
even if it is me tat u are referring to, i choose to let things down...
u are right... 10 years doesnt come easily...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

n to the 'she' who i've faced since i opened my eyes to de world...
ur words hav torn me into pieces...
ntg else can hurt me more than how u did...

"i dont belong to this family"...

mum... u hurt me 'well' enuf..



Again... i chose to leave...
running...avoiding... hiding... from all hurtful things...

i wish i could dissapear~~

i shoudnt exist in de 1st place~!

there's a hidden reason behind all de ridiculous well-displayed scene...!

nvr realised it until dat point of time...

a dilemma condition where u either hate it or love it...

talking about wat's fair to whom n to what...
i would rather stay silent in de background...
i would rather noe ntg but my own business....

i am sorry tat i had tat split seconds of doubt about ur personality..
i was wrong! completely messed up~~!

u are alwiz de family member n sibling tat i look up to!
i hav nvr been so glad to hav u in my life...

giving u a pat on de back..
"keep goin on STRONG in ur life!!"

i hav another week of holidays~~!

this sounds good n bad at de same time..
good for...de lazy nerve cells of mine who are still hibernating n definitely NOT ready for class..
bad for.... another boring week being de house keeper...

class officially starts on wed...
being jane de kaki ponteng..
first day of de sem = another day of extended holiday... wuahaha.. *evil laugh
n my instinct tells me tat there'll be no class on fri tis sem...

so.. i might as well take de thurs off n go "fresh" de following week~~!
wat a great arrangement...! haha....

lets hope my instinct doesnt disappoint me tis time...

a mistake from the start...

it's never convincing anymore to de ppl around me when it happens..
YES...! it HAPPENS all de time~~!

"It's just another routine of theirs"...
these words are as though surrounding me when de urge of me breaking down to some1 else strikes...
i would rather hav my emo moment saved for myself than to embarrass myself over n over again..

magnet of the similar pole REPELS...
tats wat is happening then, now n always..

i need de firm n cold-blooded jane back AGAIN!


anyway...
a big thank you to my gals for de nite...
thanks for de company!
jane loves u guys~~! muackzzzzzz

i am so eager waiting for my new sem to start~~!

after so long...*fuh~~
i wanna feel like a STUDENT again...

alfred n yuvan.. here we go again!!